Reflections at 25

Some reflections I wrote when I turned 25. Maybe they’ll resonate with you too.

Reminders for when I’m in the trenches and it’s easy to forget.

●    I want to live many lives in this lifetime and there might not be enough time for all of them. What matters most month to month is I continue to feel fulfilled by the work I’m doing and can spend my time with people I love and care about.

●    The happiest I’ve consistently been is not after achieving a work goal, but the moments where I’ve felt fully present with the people I love. It’s the feeling at 2 AM at Anna’s wedding when no one wants to be the first to say goodbye. It’s going to Disneyland with Janelle on a whim. It’s being completely offline in Hanoi with parents for a week and feeling like I’ve spent a month with them.

●    Given the tradeoff of time spent with people I love and more cash, the answer is always people. I need to keep a high bar for who I let into my circle.

●    I want to show up in the world as someone who is a force of nature but also kind, thoughtful, and goofy. Life is meant to be played with, not trudged through. And I need to surround myself with people who feel the same way.

●    I live on a regret minimisation algorithm. I’d rather have tried something and failed, no matter how painful, than wonder whether I missed out on the happiest days of my life because I was afraid to take a leap.

●    Given the same set of facts, I can logic myself to a yes or a no. But my body knows how I feel and what feels more right to me. Trust my gut.

●    I’m not likely to be more happy with $100M than with $10M. From speaking with friends who have made that much, the difference between their first 10 and 100 has been buying a boat. I need a baseline that allows me to not think about money and lets me live in a beautiful place. Beware of hedonic adaptation.

●    Work achievement gives me a dopamine hit in the moment, but that lasts only a day or so. What needs to be true for me to feel at my best in work:

○    I’m constantly learning new skill sand able to work on multiple projects

○    I’m able to build relationships that feel genuine to me

○    I have agency over what I do

●    I need to feel safe in the citiesI live in, and my spaces need to be aesthetically pleasing. Only live in new apartments with lots of light, glass, and wood. No more 1900s houses even if they have a lot of space. My happy places: Madrid, New York.

●    I don’t enjoy mundane tasks:sending cold outreach emails, hopping on back-to-back small-client sales calls, and any repetitive work. I need to build a life where I can constantly delegate them and instead enjoy high brainpower, high variety work, and in-person experiences.

●    Life is fun but fragile. Sickness can come at any point. I don’t know how long dad and mum have left to live, butI want them to live a dignified life throughout whatever time they have.

●    My north star: building a life where I’m able to spend time with the people I care about, no matter what city they’re in, whenever I want.